Wanna know one reason why it was hard for me to choose a wedding dress? Because this feels like a Peak Outfit to me:
I was feeling HOT today when I left the house! Feeling very Me, very Cute, very Relaxed, very Self-Assured. Also, I’m ovulating! And that’s the best outfit accessory! I learned recently about a style category called gorp-core. Gorpcore? I don’t know how to properly write it out but based on several pairs of my pants, I do know I sometimes fall into this category. In case you need more context, gorp basically means trail mix, and for style purposes here we’re talking “technical” outdoor gear worn as fashion. I love clothing like this for its comfort, functionality, bright colors, and overall slightly weird look. I don’t know how to put it in other words, but often I find my favorite outfits are ones that look a little weird.
I was talking about this category revelation recently and got to rambling about Kim Possible: how I loved the show, how I played several Kim Possible video games growing up, and how she’s my gorpcore style icon and cartoon crush. Also funny to note that I didn’t realize the extent of my obsession until I reached the end of the aforementioned ramble.
Honestly, yeah, gorpcore goals. And, the pointy boob! The free nipple inspiration!
So back to that reason why it was hard for me to choose a wedding dress. My Peak Outfit self doesn’t exactly translate to formal wear! At least not in a way I’ve yet figured out! And you know what else? I have many style selves! (So please don’t misunderstand my claiming of gorpcore to be the end all be all of my style. It is but one face of the style dice.) And I don’t know which style self is gonna show up at any given moment, let alone the momentous occasion of my wedding! And this among other reasons—like how wedding dress shopping is still just shopping and spending lots of time in the mirror looking very hard at yourself and the clothing, and the pressure for it to be the perfect summation of the self and the wedding moment—is why it was hard to choose a wedding dress. I did eventually choose. And then I tried to change my mind by trying on other dresses, and then I chose the first choice again. And I’ve landed on certainty at this point. Partly because I accepted that I can’t represent all my style selves in one dress.
Kaiya said to me the other day while we were looking at a mural of herself, I’ve been so many people. And this has been on my mind, clearly, with the wedding dress consideration, but also with Saturn Return. I was recently feeling admiration for my younger self who posed nude for photos. And I’ve been feeling connected to my teenage self who loved to bake now that I’ve been baking bread and bagels. Style-wise I’ve been amused at how different I am from (again) my teenage self who was obsessed with short floral flouncy skirts. And among noting all those different selves, I’m also wondering about what’s been the same thread through it all? That’s a question I’m still chewing on. Though I do remember my 3rd grade teacher telling me “You’ve always been so complimentary” at my grandma’s funeral last year after I told her I liked her ring. And another thing, I have always liked color. So there’s 2 threads for now. We’ll see what else surfaces!
Wanna know where I was going in such a great outfit? The doctor’s office. Ha!
I’m distracted by what feels like a million other things right now, and I’m gonna blame it on the moon in gemini, and like the title says, my mercury in gemini, and also the garden being in a very demanding moment currently. Which, don’t get me wrong, is a JOY! A joy that’s occupying two-thirds of my brainspace right now. I transplanted a bunch of plants yesterday evening, I was in the garden for 2 1/2 hours. I LOVE THE GARDEN! I think it might be the only place where I don’t worry. More on that later, maybe.
So with all those distractions, I’m gonna sign off now. My focus train is leaving the station! My best wishes to you for your own new moon magics, aka whatever is arising at this moment.
With strawberry love,
XOXO Katelyn
A throwback for today’s song choice, that I played really loud in my car earlier. Highly recommend. Those drums!
